PEACE, LOVE AND AFFINITY!

For the first time in years I am experiencing true peace, love and affinity...let me elaborate. To give you a little background years ago my best friend of 5 years ran off with my boyfriend, became pregnant, and married him. Well this is at least the story that I've played over and over again...poor me, what betrayal. It finally occured to me today that this story has controlled a portion of my peace, love and affinity for others. It has been one of my walls, reasons to never let anyone too close. I have played this story over and over again and today the tape finally broke. I have been playing a victim, a "what if" game all these years. Living in a this is not my life...if only blah, blah, blah. It was a revelation, my role of the victim was finally exposed bringing forth its hideousness. For a moment I could barely stand myself, I knew I must take action. I found her and sent her a message just to acknowledge how I was being and that my story has controlled my view of her, when her story of what occurred is probably quite different. Deep down I really hope she has an extraordinary life. I thanked her for the memories we made and wished her well. All of this was heartfelt...there was no "in order to get somewhere", "look good", it was just finding my love and affinity for her all over again. When I acknowledged this I found a peace that I cannot explain, it almost brings me to tears. The love and peace is literally a physical warmth... life is truly wondrous!